Sorry, frequent flyers: urine for a soggy surprise.
When nature calls at 30,000 feet, it’s best to avoid the wiping with the tissue offered in the aircraft’s commode, according to a flight attendant, who warns that the roll of disposable squares are often covered in human waste.
“Don’t use the toilet paper on the plane,” urged Kate, a cabin crew expert, in a buzzy TikTok bulletin.
“It’s got men’s pee pee on it because they don’t how to control that thang,” she continued, making cheeky reference to a guy’s little guy.
But tinkled toilet paper might be the least of a germaphobe’s worries while cruising the clouds.
Air travel experts are constantly unlocking new fears for flyers with aversions to grime.
Cher, a flight attendant of five years, recently revealed the “filthiest” surfaces on an airplane, which include the window shades, seat belt straps, overhead bins and, of course, the toilet seats.
“Once in my career have I seen the toilet seats get cleaned off,” she said in a viral vid. “Only once.”
Whistleblower Rosa Sanchez, a pro cabin cleaner for several major airlines, has also spilled tea on how nasty plane potties can be, saying, “Sometimes in the bathroom there will be blood on the floor, toilet, walls, and there is feces and urine on top of the toilet.”
And Kate claims the excrement isn’t just on the toilet.
“Do not take your stanky-ass shoes on that aircraft, y’all,” she encouraged. “And if you do, you better not walk into that bathroom in your bare socks or on your bare little piggy toes.”
“[There’s] pee-pee on the ground, everywhere,” insisted the influencer. “Leave [your shoes] on, you sickos.”
Kate went on to share her list of in-flight do’s and don’t’s for passengers, dissuading folks from using the flight attendant’s galley as their own personal yoga stretching studio, and asking trippers to be compassionate towards moms flying with fussy babies.
The sky-high savant additionally reminded grumpy jet-setters that angrily poking their seat mate could result in serious legal trouble.
“Don’t elbow your neighbors,” she said. “That’s assault, that is physical violence and physical violence means cops, OK? Be kind.”
The towhead expects kindness to be extended to her hardworking colleagues, too.
“Your flight attendants went through seven weeks of intensive training,” she said, adding that their coursework had little to do with serving sodas and slinging prepackaged snacks.
“We are trained in emergency response,” Kate announced. “We’re trained to do what we gotta do and handle it when things go south on that plane at 30,000 feet.”
“There [are] no firefighters coming on their little fire truck up to the sky,” she said. “It’s me fighting the fires, it’s me handcuffing the bad guy, it’s me taking down the terrorist it’s me using an AED to help granny when she’s having some issues, it’s me to deliver that baby coming in the plane.
“Could there be doctors onboard? Sure,” Kate conceded. “But when there’s not — you’re looking at her.”